Some of my fondest childhood memories were those spent at my cousin’s dairy farm. He ran an old fashion farm where the cows were allowed to graze in large open fields. I was fond of the baby calves and actually became close friends with one of them. I named her Blitz because she had a lightning shaped blaze down her nose. Being only 10 years old, my cousin humorously told me that Blitz was my calf, but that she would have to live on the farm with him. I would visit Blitz every week. Our bond soon became very strong. Blitz was very curious by nature and would manage to chew through the ropes that kept her confined against the wall of the barn. Several times, when I would go to visit her, I would find her roaming around inside the barn. When my cousin resorted to using a leather collar and chains to keep her restrained, I would undo the latch and take her for walks around the barn myself! Blitz and I spent countless hours together. I would sing to her, tell her stories and take naps lying against her warm body. A while later I was diagnosed with scoliosis. Because of this, I wasn’t able to see Blitz for about a year. When I returned to the farm, Blitz was a heifer. She was no longer a calf, but not yet a cow. I saw her in the paddock with about 20 other heifers. I recognized the white square patch on her left shoulder. I called her name twice, but got no response. The third time I called her name, she slowly raised her head and looked in my direction. To my great joy, she stood up and walked over to me. She remembered me after an entire year! Our friendship resumed like it had never stopped.

I remember one winter’s day especially well. I was in the paddock area standing in front of Blitz. She had an itch on her shoulder so she was licking it to make herself more comfortable. When she swung her head around, she caught me square in the nose! I was instantly on my knees with blood covering the snow. I could feel Blitz nudging me with her muzzle, but I was in too much pain to respond at the time. My cousin came out of the barn, helped me up and brought me into the house to administer first aid. After the bleeding stopped, I thought about poor Blitz. This had been an accident and partly my fault for standing too close. I asked my cousin if I could bring Blitz a carrot, which was her favorite treat. With carrot in hand, I went back out to the paddock. Blitz was standing there with her head down to the ground. She wouldn’t even make an attempt to eat the carrot. She knew that I had been hurt and was upset! It took me about 5 minutes to convince her that I was OK. Only then did she reluctantly eat her carrot.

There was another time that Blitz went against her instincts to be with me. Cows are herd animals by nature. When the leader of the group decides to head for the field, all the other cows follow. Not Blitz! She chose to stay at the fence with me. I told her that it was all right and that she could go with the others. Blitz wouldn’t go. By now all the other cows were in the field grazing. It was just me and Blitz in the paddock. Not wanting her to miss out on grazing, I crawled under the fence. Together Blitz and I walked down the path to the field, side by side. I sat in the grass beside her as she grazed.

One day I went to the farm and couldn’t find Blitz! I looked everywhere. When I asked my cousin where Blitz was, he coldly told me that Blitz had had her first calf and was now a cow. Unfortunately she wasn’t a good milk producer. He had sent her to the slaughterhouse to be killed! I couldn’t believe my ears! When I asked about her calf, my cousin told me that it had been a bull and had been sold to a veal house. For months after this, I refused to eat beef. The thought of eating my beloved Blitz was too much to bare. It took me a very long time to forgive my cousin. I never went back to the farm after that.

I am grateful that I had the opportunity to know Blitz. When people tell me that cows are dumb animals I know that it just isn’t true. Blitz was a very intelligent, loving, sentient being. She had feelings and individuality. She was my friend! I still miss her to this day. The thought of what she had to experience at the slaughterhouse haunts me. I wonder if she was looking for me, expecting me to take her back home.

Blitz was a great teacher for me. All animals are. They offer us so much and ask so little. They only want a little kindness and compassion. The food industry sees them as commodities, not as feeling individuals. Still the fact remains that animals are capable of all the same emotions that you or I have. They feel love, sadness, pain and fear. They love their young and will risk their own lives to protect their offspring. Like you and me, they only want to live.

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About the Author: Tumeria Langlois has been vegan for over 10 years. She originally became vegan on a search for spiritual answers. She says, “It just didn’t make sense to eat animals any more. Once I learned about factory farms, I became an animal rights activist.” Although she is vegan primarily for the animals, she enjoys numerous health benefits from being vegan as well.

Here is my advice to her…

Plenty of vegetarians and vegans live with non-veg loved ones. Some cook separate meals, but most cook a veg version that can have meat added to it.
Some examples:

• tacos: everyone makes their own tacos. You have beans or faux meat for yourself and real meat for your omni loved-one. (You could do the same for a burrito or totastada meal).
• spaghetti with a meat-free tomato sauce, the omni can add meat balls to his pasta sauce at the end after you’ve served yourself your portion. Lots of pasta meals can be made this way.
• vegetable stir fry: Cook up the veggies, then split in half. You add tofu or seitan and he adds meat.
• pizza: go halvsies. Order you side without animal products and his side can have what he wants.
• salad: make a salad without dressing. He can add chicken and you add nuts. He dresses it with ranch and you add vinaigrette.
• leftover buffets can work once a week where you each just load up a plate with your foods and eat together.

Another plan is to incorporate more veg meals into his life. Lots of meat-eaters eat veg part-time. Perhaps you can agree that Sundays and Thursdays he’ll eat veg with you, for his health and the health of your relationship. After a while, who knows? He might just give another inch and start eating veg every weekday.

Lastly, here are some veg bloggers who live with meat-eaters. They have other ideas to help couples who eat differently than each other:

• Urban Vegan
• I Married An Omnivore

Good luck to you and your relationship! You can make it work if you really want to.

Some vegans are willing to step up and speak their truth and promote the cause. Most others would rather just live their lives without having to deal with the non-vegans who think vegans are freaks, extreme, obnoxious, psychotic, violent or anything else. But even merely saying, “I’m vegan” will get you into hot water in some situations.

Here are some strategies for dealing with non-vegans and anti-vegans if you want to maintain friendships or if you simply want to avoid conflicts.

• Be over-the-top polite and nice
• Say you’re vegan for health or environmental reasons (don’t confess that it’s also for animal rights)
• Use avoidance techniques: change the subject, ignore anti-vegan comments, make a joke, etc.
• Don’t bring it up; let others start the conversation about veganism, then only chime in if they sound open to veganism
• Say “vegetarian,” “plant-based diet,” “plant strong,” “raw,” “starch-based” or some other word to describe your diet instead of “vegan” (That’s more truthful anyway since there is no singular “vegan diet”)
• Say you have an allergy or that you’re lactose-intolerant (if you’ve been vegan for a few years, you might actually be lactose intolerant anyway. And regarding allergies, well you might not go into anaphylactic shock if you eat meat, but you’ll likely have some negative physical reaction.)
• Think of non-vegans like they’re children or animals who have bad habits, but not bad hearts

That said, these are strategies for maintaining the peace, not necessarily strategies for making a difference for animals. These strategies quell the conflict, but may or may not be the most effective at creating new vegans or advocating for animals. It all depends on the situation.

For example, being “over-the-top polite” is often a good method and works well in most situations, but sometimes that means people won’t pay serious attention to the issue. The fact is, animal exploitation is NOT nice and won’t ever be. Exposing people to the truth will shock and hurt them. The blow can be eased with a smile or a hug, but being honest with people isn’t always polite.

These strategies are great for self-preservation, living as a vegan in a non-vegan world. But if you get serious about advocating for animals (and not just for yourself), you have to stick your head out and take some more of the heat.

What do you think? Are there strategies you employ in work situations or family get-togethers that help you get along with non-vegans?

“Veganism is like a good relationship: The commitment and comfort grow and grow.”

I think veganism is, in some ways, similar to a committed relationship. Some may see it as a limitation, but for those who have experienced loving, committed relationships, we KNOW that when one door closes, others open. The fact that my diet, like my love life, excludes many possibilities that others might find enjoyable does not in any way inhibit the satisfaction and abundance I get from my chosen diet and life-partner.

Check it out, read my essay >>