I’m lucky because most of my close family members are vegan, vegetarian, or leaning that way. But there are still plenty of extended family members and friends who refuse to think twice about veganism and shush me if I come anywhere near the topic.

Here are some of my favorite ideas – as suggested on the VO website – for dealing with rejection:

• “When the opportunity presents itself to plant a seed about animal suffering, I try to keep my statements brief and poignant [...]This may be pointing out that pigs are as smart as dogs, that dairy cows have their babies taken away and mourn year after year, that up to 18 hours of crowded transport to slaughter with no food or water is accepted practice.”
• “Make a shockingly delicious dessert for a family member or friend’s birthday with no strings attached. When the time is right, they may feel safe enough with you to take those first baby steps in the right direction.”
• “don’t focus on changing your loved ones, focus on changing the world!” and “I use my frustration as a fuel for taking action”
• Give leaflets to strangers. For every friend or family member who doesn’t want a leaflet, you can find hundreds (or thousands) of strangers who do.”
• Keep working to create a vegan world because “Nothing you do might be able to influence your family members … now. However, as society changes, they will change with it. Even the most die-hard segregationists changed their attitudes once their viewpoints were no longer popular.”

Earlier, I said that I’m lucky because my close family members are vegan. I am extremely lucky! However, it’s not just luck. I was one piece of the puzzle that came together and helped them go veg. (The luck part: all the other pieces.) I simply cannot keep my mouth shut when it comes to something important to me. I have to share it with the people I love.

If you have close friends or family members who are not vegan, DO NOT GIVE UP ON THEM. That’s not to say you should be pushy or anything. Simply keep the conversation going. Every now and then offer a leaflet or a book on the topic of veganism. Share a recipe or new product. Introduce them to other vegans and vegetarians with whom they share other interests or hobbies.

If these people are important to you and you want to have positive relationships with them, it’s vital that you continue to keep them “in the loop” of your vegan journey. The longer you’re vegan, the more you’ll learn and the more you’ll grow. If you don’t share that with these close friends or family, particularly with romantic partners, you risk straining the relationship and “growing apart.” Veganism is too important to keep to yourself. For the sake of a healthy relationship, share it!

In my family, we gather together on Christmas Eve for a family meal and then we open one present each. The next morning we wait until everyone is awake, then we dig into our stockings, which are usually laid out together under or near the tree since we’ve never lived anywhere that has the kind of weather for a fireplace.

Peeking out of the top of the stocking is usually a box of sugary cereal and that’s what we’ll eat for breakfast (with soy or rice milk of course) along with the thing at the bottom of the stocking that fills in the round toe section: an orange. The orange is such a family tradition that to me, it might not be Christmas without an orange in my stocking.

Between the sugary cereal and the orange lie an assortment of odds and ends:  things like vegan chocolate candies, hairbands and nail polish (cruelty-free of course), funny gadgets and games, small books or a USB flash drive, jewlery or watches, gift cards, poems and love notes, and other animal-friendly wares.

After the stockings come the presents, which may or may not be sitting under a tree. One year the presents were aligned under the grand piano and atop the piano sat a tiny live rosemary bush to be planted outside after the holiday. Another year the presents were piled next to a sparkly silver tabletop faux tree.

As children, we tore the gifts open one after the other and made piles of our bounty. I remember constantly comparing the size of my pile to the size of my younger sister’s pile. Somehow, I always felt jealous (and somehow, so did she).

As adults we play White Elephant. That means that each adult receives just one gift, but the gifts are not assigned so it’s all just a matter of chance. The gifts are always a mixture of practical and frivolous things with lots of love around it all. Things like a tea set or a gift card to Whole Foods. Things like mixed CDs or yellow marionette monkeys.

As the day moves on, our family generally goes out to a movie (it’s usually terrible, but that never matters) and plays a family board game like Last Word, Apples To Apples, or Taboo.

Along the way, we have a bit of family drama and someone winds up pouting or crying, but that’s because we’re normal. We’re not a TV family. We’re not perfect.

For us, the day is about family. And for us, our family chooses not to hurt other families, even the nonhuman families. So fo us, Christmas is vegan.

1. Veg Family: http://www.vegfamily.com/
2. Spawn Better: http://www.spawnbetter.com/
3. Keeping Kids Healthy, the section on vegan kids: http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/treatmentguides/veganchildren.html
4. The “vegan parents” section of the The Vegan Forum: http://www.veganforum.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=40
5. The “kids” section here at Vegan Soapbox: http://www.vegansoapbox.com/topics/kids/

That’s just the beginning. In the next few years expect to see more and more resources available for vegan parents. There will be new websites, new books, new videos, and… more vegan parents sharing stories, experiences, advice, recipes, and love.

A few days ago, my 5-year-old daughter, Paris, announced that she wants to be a vegan. I was surprised. We’re omnivores in our family. For dinner I often serve roasted chicken, ground turkey tacos, stuffed pork chops, the occasional flank steak. And I always have a bag of salami in the fridge.

“Why?” I asked Paris.

“Because I love animals and I don’t want to eat them.”

When I was a year older than Paris, I made a similar decision. I’ve been vegetarian or vegan for nearly three decades. My mother was COOL and open-minded. She let me go veg. Paris’s mother, not so much:

“That’s very noble of you,” I said, but I was really thinking, this is an unhealthy choice that will be inconvenient for the entire family.

The rest of the article does offer some hope for Paris’s future of a plant-based diet:

I checked in with registered dietitian Susannah Wallenstrom, who works at the outpatient clinic at Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco. “I would not discourage parents from choosing to raise their children as vegans and I do think it can work, but it requires very careful planning,” Wallenstrom said.

But that hope comes with a huge side of anti-vegan hyperbole:

I went online to do some research–never a good idea–and discovered a New York Times op-ed piece titled “Death by Veganism” by Real Food author Nina Planck. She tells the story of an infant on a vegan diet who supposedly died from malnutrition and declares veganism “dangerous for weaned babies and toddlers, who need plenty of protein and calcium.”

Let’s set her straight. Leave comments at:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?&entry_id=32054

PS – websites for vegan parents or parents raising veg children:

• Vegan LunchBox
• Veg Family
• Compassionate Cooks Family Forum
• The PPK “Playground”