The Comfort Of Your Food
Print This Post
Last week the New York Times published an article about vegan weddings. Overall, the article was pretty good:
“As a generation that learned to eat from Alice Waters and Fast Food Nation comes to the altar, the vegetarians among them are often refusing to leave their ethics at the door”
and:
“If your family loves you and wants you to have that special day, I think they can go one meal and not eat meat,”
The article centered on the issue of comfort. Yet, instead of even remotely touching on the issue of the comfort of animals who produce food for humans, the article focused on the minor discomfort some nonvegan guests might feel when invited to a vegan wedding.
The article posed the wrong question by asking, “Is it really all about you, or does the comfort of your guests come first?”
Vegan food is not about anyone present at the table; it’s about who isn’t at the table: animals.
Veganism is primarily about saving animals’ lives and saving the planet. Secondarily, it’s about being healthy and promoting public wellness.
Veganism is not about ego. It’s not about being the boss. It’s not about making people uncomfortable.
Veganism is about valuing animals. It’s about opposing unnecessary suffering and animal cruelty. It’s about respecting the environment. It’s about preventing climate change. It’s about keeping the air and water clean.
Veganism is about living the values most people claim to have.
If a vegan wedding makes someone so uncomfortable that they feel the need to complain about it in the New York Times, they can be my guest. Just not at my wedding.
Excellent post. Holy crap, this vegan wedding issue makes me just see red. It is especially relevant to me, because my boyfriend of 4 years and I have been discussing this a lot lately.
Vegan food is entirely inclusive. Unless someone exists by eating literally nothing but animal products (which is impossible, or they’d be dead), there is absolutely nothing about a meal made of vegetables that should be unfamiliar or cause discomfort. Sure, those vegetables might be in a different form than someone is used to. Sure, the texture and flavor combinations might be new. But are we really a culture whose palates stopped developing when we were toddlers? Can we really not consume the same food in a different form?
It is simply UNBELIEVABLE to me that someone would actually have the nerve to suggest that the couple (who is paying for the damn thing, after all) has some responsibility to serve something that directly conflicts with a deeply-held ethical value! I’m not Jewish, but if I attended a Jewish wedding, I’d sure as hell eat the kosher food they served. Does a feminist have a responsibility to keep in her vows the promise to obey her husband, simply because some people who are attending might not be comfortable with the idea of gender equality? Does a Christian have a responsibility to leave out mention of God in her vows to avoid making the atheists attending uncomfortable? Of course not!
What really gets me is that vegans attend weddings where meat is served all the time. While it’s perfectly acceptable to put in a request that at least one vegan food option is available (same as gluten-free, allergen-free, low-sodium, etc.), I have never met a single vegan who argued that because they were attending the wedding, the newlyweds had a responsibility to NOT serve meat.
I second Elaine’s opinion: If you are literally so closed-minded that you cannot possibly consume one vegan entree (for free, mind you!), then you are not welcome at my wedding.
.-= Kayla´s last blog ..Green Chocolate Smoothie =-.
Great comment Kayla! I second that.
I can’t believe that pastry chef saying they have to serve meat because they are inviting 2 chefs to the wedding. OMG! What is that saying to everyone out there. We shouldn’t throw our ethics aside for one day to please everyone.
I think having a wedding day that’s vegan is the perfect time to show everyone how wonderful the food and cake can be.
.-= JoLynn-dreaminitvegan´s last blog ..POM Wonderful Review =-.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, it’s not about us at all, and that’s what i try to convey continually. That is why it makes the non-veg see red, it’s the ultimate act of selflessness, and quite the rude awakening when they are led to consider what they are supporting.
It’s an interesting issue we dealt with. I firmly believe that if vegetarians serve meat at their wedding, they are simply NOT vegetarians (any more).
Before reading the article in NY Times, I couldn’t imagine that there really are people like that. Either you have a conscience or you do not.
We got married ten months ago, and the first thing we had was to send the invitations, with the mention: «Don’t have lunch before the wedding.» A work colleague said that he would eat meat before the wedding, therefore I told him that he was not welcomed.
The dishes costed us only the half of what it would have costed for flesh-based dishes.
Our dishes were delicious, as the guests said. Here you can see some pictures thereof:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/43535441@N00/sets/72157622472354495
Everything was vegan, even the cake!
.-= Georges (from Belgium)´s last blog ..Mon rapport aux écritures saintes 1 =-.
I’m Georges’s husband, and I confirm what he says.
Our caterer told us maybe it would be better not to mention to the guests that it would be vegan food – he actually already had a bad experience at another occasion, where some guests went to Mc Donalds before a veggie banquet(!). But as all of our guests knew about us being vegan, the question popped up and we decided not to lie about it. Nobody told us they felt uncomfortable with that.
Many people discovered what vegan food could look like, that day. It’s actually the perfect opportunity to show people we do not just eat lettuce and carrots!
.-= Nicolas (from Belgium too!)´s last blog ..Les malheurs de Nicolas =-.
I’m actually already married so my comment at the end is really about anniversary celebrations
We had a vegetarian wedding reception with about 70 guests (we weren’t vegan when we got married). Only one person complained about the food and had to run out and eat a steak after. Everyone else seemed to like it.