BUT – those that do try to “rationalize” – I have little patience for. They’ve already made their decision to dis-regard their own rational conclusions. They choose to surrender their intellect to whim, it’s hard not to be critical of such people… whatever the issue might be.

I usually don’t persue the conversation much further… it only escalates; and with most, it’s an argument that can’t be won. Focus on the ones with objective open minds. They may be swayed in time to think clear headed about the very obvious hypocrasy of “loving animals and eating them.”

These conversations regard difficult subject matter, and therefore, the parlance may take on a forceful tone. This really hasn’t ever been about “mud slinging” in personal conversations between vegans and non-vegans, generally speaking, and nor should it. Respect is necessitated by a free and open discourse. However, to “soften” our tone implies something problematic in the conversation as it currently stands. Which is erroneous, I think. So, the answer to your question Eccentric Vegan, is a resounding NO! As you argue, to “soften” is really a suggestion by proponents of animal exploitation to stop talking about it.

“It’s just your opinion” is another common attempted counter to our message. It’s a curious response. As you argue, these arguments aren’t reasons at all; they’re conversation-enders. Such responses don’t address our premises, or the support given for our arguments, it is a deflection. It is a cop-out engendered by a lack of reasons.

~ Recent blog post: Apparently, tobacco hurts people (and mice and rats) at http://www.not-quiteright.net/tvg ~

And you’re probably right that the gentle, kind approach is generally more effective on a personal level (though, I can say for a FACT, that guilt-tripping works wonders on a personal level, too). Indeed, helping individuals understand veganism usually involves at least one vegan being exceptionally nice and understanding, walking omnis through it with baby-steps.

However, on a political and social level, I can’t simply “trust you” that we’re more effective if we soften our tone. For example, if the kind approach were so effective at changing or molding human behavior, why isn’t that the approach governments take? If negativity didn’t work to shift opinion, then why do political campaigns employ so much negativity?

I’m not completely disagreeing with you, Alan. I would just like to see the actual statistics and data that proves your point.

Also, these people can easily find vegans who have a “softer” edge. Colleen at CompassionateCooks.com is one of them.

I think blaming “hardcore” vegans is just an excuse to keep eating eggs and drinking milk.

~ Recent blog post: Farmed-Animal Industry Spending Millions to Quash Animal-Welfare Bill at http://www.diggingthroughthedirt.blogspot.com ~

The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter who’s right. It matters that animals are suffering and dying. If we’re secure and confident enough in our own actions and the reasons why they make a difference in the world, we can show the rest of the world an example that isn’t difficult, angry or extreme.

Veganism isn’t a temple for the righteous whose doors you only get to pass through if you’re personally pure enough. Trust me, pointing a finger at “them” and showing all the reasons they’re wrong won’t help a single animal.