“Meat-Free, Cheese-Free”
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Vegan blogger, Erik Marcus, linked to an article about a mockumentary called “I’m Still Here” staring Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck. In the article, it says Affleck ate “a meat-free, cheese-free vegetable sandwich.”
In other words, he ate a vegetable sandwich. It was probably even a vegan sandwich.
Unless, of course, there was mayo or butter on the bread. That’s plausible. Maybe that’s why the interviewer wrote, “meat-free, cheese-free” rather than “vegan.”
But… maybe there was a fried-egg on top of the veggies. The interviewer wrote “meat-free, cheese-free” but there was no mention of “egg-free” so maybe it had scrambled eggs on top of zucchini and eggplant sandwiched between two slices of rye bread. Or maybe there was caviar spread on sourdough and plain old tomatoes and lettuce inside. Or anchovy sauce poured on mushrooms and carrots between wheat bread. Heck, maybe there wasn’t bread at all. Maybe Affleck ate something akin to KFC’s “double down” and sandwiched his veggies between two layers of fried dead bird bosoms. After all, vegetarians eat chicken, right? That’s “poultry,” not “meat.”
Or, perhaps it was a big slab of gelatin on top of cucumbers, summer squash, and sundried tomato. Maybe Affleck likes squid and mussels atop a succotash sandwich with sweet potato fries on the side. Or oyster sauce drizzled along layers of roasted bell peppers, olives, and spinach. Perhaps a kale and carrot sandwich was topped with whipped cream. Or a veggie sandwich with dog and cat fur sprinkled on top. Or fried pig skin with fried garlic, onions, and banana peppers. It’s just skin, not meat.
Ooooh! I know! Honey! The sandwich was dipped in honey! That’s why the interviewer didn’t say “vegan.”
Is our society so meat and dairy obsessed that educated readers of the New York Times can’t imagine the words “vegetable sandwich” meaning actually that? They have to be told the sandwich is “meat-free” and “cheese-free.” Why is that?
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