I’ve got a confession. I’m a complete wuss when it comes to horror movies. I’m afraid of zombies.
Even after watching the funny and non-gory mockumentary American Zombie, which features a vegan zombie, I had nightmares.
Here’s the trailer for American Zombie:
And so it was with reluctance that I watched the premier episode of The Walking Dead after my own mother who knows how freaked out I get about zombies tricked me into beginning it. Alas, I was hooked and I just had to finish the episode. I needed to know what happened.
Later that night, the nightmares came and I vowed not to watch any more episodes. I went back to another kind of gore and I watched the last season of Dexter in two days. Dexter, a series on Showtime about a serial killing vigilante doesn’t bother me as much as The Walking Dead, a show on AMC about zombies.
There’s something strange about me: the more realistic the violence is, the less it haunts my subconscious. I think it might be due to an active imagination. The horrors created in mind are intangible and thus never conquerable. The horrors of factory farms, however, are real. And even though the cruelty, gore, suffering, blood, and death that surrounds them is unimaginably terrible, we don’t have to imagine it, it’s reality. As horrific as it is to think about the torture that most farmed animals endure, this problem is conquerable. This problem is solvable. We can fix this. The solution is simple: vegan.
Back to zombies: I’ve still been thinking about that new AMC show that’s getting such rave reviews. And I kind of want to know what happens after the pilot. Zombies, though incredibly scary, are fascinating. So when I stumbled upon a blog post called “A Vegan Take On The Walking Dead” at I Eat Grass, I thought the list of zombie pros and cons was rather funny. Among them:
Pro: “Level 10 vegan guilt trip: ‘Hey, you remember that zombie who ate Fred the other day? That’s how I feel when you eat steak.’”
Con: “Your compassion for all life, even the undead, may be your downfall.”
Pro: “You can finally get everything you want at Whole Foods because it will be free!!”
Con: “Zombies caught one of those emaciated junk food vegans and word gets out that vegans do taste better. So you’re kind of a delicacy.”
I thought of a few more myself:
Pro: Other surviving humans would never see you chowing down on something bloody, accidentally mistake you for a zombie, and shoot you in the head.
Con: Your lack of experience at killing might be a disadvantage if zombies attack.
Pro: Remember, if every vegan convinced one person to go vegan and that trend continued so every new vegan convinced another person to go vegan, we’d have a vegan world in under 10 years. But now that the human population is much smaller, the task of convincing them all to go vegan is so much easier!
Con: Eating raw no longer implies eating vegan.
What do you think might be the pros and cons for living as a vegan in a world full of zombies?