I’m Flummoxed
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I invited three friends to a debate party on the day of the VP debate. We had bingo cards. We had fun. One of of the guests brought stuffed peppers she had made for another friend, who was sick, who happens to be vegetarian. This friend of mine, Phyllis, is not vegetarian.
Phyllis said she thought the dish was “boring”, did not have much flavor. We cut it up and passed it out and I thought it was quite good. It contained mushrooms and nuts and a few other elements that to me sounded like such a great idea for a stuffed pepper. And the peppers were red, making it pretty and a bit different that way as well. Phyllis said, though, that she missed the taste of sausage.
My first reaction was to say she could have used a vegetarian sausage. She thought that was a great suggestion. But her comment stayed with me. To Phyllis, who is an intelligent dog-owner who cares about animals, not eating meat is not an option. She said offhandedly at one point “Of course I will never stop eating meat”.
We have had various discussions in the past about vegetarianism. Usually she is the one to bring it up. The last time I mentioned The China Study as having a huge effect on me, and I told her about the proof in the book that eating more than 10% of a diet in animal protein leads to cancers and other diseases. For whatever reason this did not seem to affect her. Perhaps one has to read it for oneself, and I don’t see her taking that up.
What got to me at this time, in addition to the casual comment that she would never stop eating meat – not said defensively but more as if it were obvious – was that she could not taste that food without expecting or wanting a “meat” taste. It has been so long since I turned veg that I do not remember craving that taste. I have craved the taste of cheese and ice cream, however, and I have been disappointed at times by the substitutes (vegan ice cream is really stepping up these days, however). Meat, though, is a taste I not only do not crave but that I prefer not to duplicate. When I eat meat analogs I don’t do so because they taste like meat but because I like them as they are.
Clearly this would not be the case for Phyllis. She wants that meat taste and because she is an omnivore she is going to be disappointed by vegetable substitutes.
I have another omni friend whom I invite for dinner once a week. I always serve vegan meals, of course, and he is smart enough not to bring any kind of meat into the house. I started to do the dinner thing for entirely different reasons, but I have realized that I am exposing him to a huge variety of vegan meals and tastes, and it seems like he is starting to like the food for itself. Last night we had a veggie paella that he thought was delicious. Maybe it makes a dif that I didn’t introduce it as a paella, just served it as a rice dish. I suspect that when he was first tasting veg’n meals he was missing meat but over time he isn’t, but I don’t know this for sure.
Here are my questions to my fellow veg’ns: do you crave that meat taste at times? and what do you offer omni friends that really might win them over to the veg possibilities?
You said, “When I eat meat analogs I don’t do so because they taste like meat but because I like them as they are.”
Me too. I can’t remember what meat tastes like so to me the ‘faux meats’ are entirely new foods. They are interesting and flavorful in their own right, not as a copy of something else.
“what do you offer omni friends that really might win them over to the veg possibilities?”
I just offer what I like. I know our tastes are different. I know that not eating meat changes your taste buds and we do actually taste things differently. But I do what I can. I think that people who go veg, in general, do it our of health or ethical reasons, not out of taste.
I don’t miss meat at all (11 years), although the smell of frying makes my mouth water. I wonder if that’s what people miss…
I don’t tell omnis that a dish is veg, and they generally try it and like it.
Pet lovers that love meat really get my goat…
I don’t make a point of noting that my dishes are not meat-centered. People learn this about me over time but I’ve always been a quiet veg’n. In the case of Phyllis I felt discouraged that there would be virtually nothing I could suggest as a veg dish – except for one that is always made without meat – that she might enjoy wholeheartedly, without “missing the meat”. But I think I have to accept that some of my friends and family members may never come to a conscious recognition of their support of cruelty.
Last night my dinner guest happened to notice one of the brochures I have on display. I usually have one called Guide to Cruelty-Free Eating, but this time I put up front one called Even If You Like Meat You Can Help End This Cruelty. The pictures on the covers are similar, showing factory-farmed animals. But the second one advocates reducing your consumption of meat. I was easily able to say this to my dinner guest, that I often suggest this, that meat-eaters just eat less. I think this is a less threatening approach and maybe it can lead to more radical moves down the line.
I admit that at times I just want to scream, “Why don’t you get it?” but most of the time I accept what my friends are. Even though I feel like our roles are ridiculously out of synch – that these omni friends see themselves as normal and “natural” and me as the nutcase, I swallow the thoughts and try to make little paths where I can.
I know Elaine has heard this little tale a dozen times but here it is again: when I was pregnant with my second daughter I had two midwives who were vegetarian. One of them in particular tried to convert me. One time she said, “I discovered that what I really miss about some meat dishes is the seasoning. So I use the same seasoning in my vegetarian dishes and I don’t miss the meat”. This didn’t cut any ice with me. I saw her as I see the bible pushers, a zealot. I didn’t see any reason to stop eating meat.
At the time, to be fair, I knew nothing about factory farms, like most Americans. Now, of course, I don’t need to think of factory farms to think of pigs in any setting, calves with their big soulful eyes, chickens in their frenetic craziness, to think of all animals as worthy of their lives in their own right.
Now I suspect most Americans do know about the horrible conditions in CAFOs and still choose to eat meat. A former co-worker told me, half-jokingly, that she imagines the chickens dying of old age and that way she can eat them. Many people can’t face the truth. So I am still flummoxed.
I’ve been veg for two years, but I still remember what meat tastes like, and I liked it.
But as a meat-eater, I liked other foods, as well, foods that had no meat in them.
I think anyone can go veg if they really want to.
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