Do It Anyway
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Stephanie Ernst writes:
“I do not subscribe to the ‘scream at them,’ ‘tell them how evil they are,’ and ‘hope they get shot or choke on a chicken bone’ philosophy. I find that way of communicating deeply offensive and equally counterproductive. And the fact that some people interpret my approach to be an ‘attacking’ one tells me they’ve never seen and heard what that approach is actually like. I do absolutely understand that most people don’t contribute to animals’ suffering consciously but rather just need to be informed about what they don’t yet realize, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be honest. Being honest and blunt with people and demonizing and “attacking” people are not the same thing. If a simple statement of truth, a simple presentation of a fact–without name-calling, without demonization–makes someone feel ‘attacked,’ the problem is on the reader’s end, not mine.”
This is one of the major problems with vegan education. No matter how you do it – whether you’re nice, calm, and reasonable or if you’re aggressive, angry, and volatile – you will receive criticism. And that criticism will be all along the same lines: accusing you of being judgmental, mean, or violent without any real evidence. They’ll say that you’re “obnoxious,” “ineffective,” “shrill,” “preachy,” “divisive,” “counterproductive,” et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…
What they really mean is: “be quiet,” “stop reminding me of animal abuse and exploitation,” “stop making me feel guilty,” “let me have my delusions,” “stop compelling me to change my exploitive habits,” et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…
Sometimes it can be hard to decipher which criticism is valid and which isn’t. But remember, most people just don’t want to hear it, no matter how nice you say it. They will react poorly, not because of how you say it, rather simply because you said it.
This is why vocal animal advocates need supporters. The criticism is overwhelming. The criticism silences most advocates. They have a few conversations that don’t end so well and so they stop talking about animal issues altogether. Please don’t be one of those people. Please find your voice and use your voice to help animals.
Nicely said. I agree that most conversation tend to have an adverse effect than intended. It’s important not to attack but talk about facts. I also like the counter on the right hand side.
~ Recent blog post: Non-state of the Twittersphere ~
Your last sentence sums it up nicely.
I don’t fault Stephanie’s approach by any means. I do regret we can’t all be there to support each other all the time.
~ Recent blog post: The Path to Abolition ~
“most people just don’t want to hear it, no matter how nice you say it.”
Very true. However, in my experience, respect combined with honesty works better than disrespect and insolence. I believe that to be true regardless of the topic of disagreement.
That is not to say anything Stephanie said was disrespectful. I think she did a fine job presenting the facts in her post. The fact that some people took offense to her post is their problem, not hers. But perhaps we could learn from the defensive responses of her readers to devise ways to better craft our vegan message in the future. Maybe, maybe not.
Ultimately, even the best intentioned omni generally wants and needs a whole lot of hand-holding and coddling. It can get very tiring. Vegan education requires just as much or more stamina than education on other kinds of progressive issues. For example, encouraging a racist to examine their racist actions results in similar kinds of push-back (defensiveness, hostility, etc.). It’s the same with confronting sexists. Speciesists are no different in their reactive responses, regardless of how well we make our cases for animal rights.
I think advocates would be well served with some help in this area: some advice for how to deal with the negativity, how to prevent burn-out, etc. I will be seeking more of this in the near future. And I’ll post some of what I find here.
Awesome! I could certainly use some tips on how to deal with negativity. I do a lot of vegan outreach and it can be tough staying positive in the face of so much destructive ignorance.
One thing that helps me is realizing that just because I have given something a lot of thought doesn’t mean that everyone else has. It can be frustrating to answer the same “stupid” questions a dozen times in one day (don’t plants feel pain too or why do humans have “canine” teeth if they aren’t supposed to eat meat?).
But by refining my responses to these questions I’ve come up with some very effective tactics that often lead to very encouraging and positive conversations – and in many cases, new vegans. And every person who goes vegan because of something I’ve said helps to recharge my advocacy batteries.
One tip that works for me is to start a conversation by asking a question instead of answering a question. For example, when someone asks me why I am vegan, I ask them why they eat meat. This often leads to a conversation about their own values and choices, rather than a conversation about me. Once I know where they are coming from, I am better equipped to respond to their questions.
Another example: when someone asks me why humans have canine teeth if they aren’t supposed to eat meat I usually respond by asking them why they think horses have canine teeth even though horses don’t eat meat. Once someone is put in a position of answering their own questions they tend to be less defensive about the answer. In this example, once I get a conversation going, people seem to quickly realize that just because we call our pointy teeth “canine” teeth doesn’t mean they are anything like the long, blade-like teeth of a lion or any other true carnivore. Our teeth are much better suited to tearing into the flesh of an apple than they are at getting through the thick hide of a cow.
Being respectful of people’s fragile egos and letting them answer their own questions is the best way I know of getting people to drop their defenses and come to the same obvious conclusions about things that we vegans already have. The bottom line is that vegans are right, and we know it. But that tends to make us seem self righteous – which tends to make people defensive and/or combative. To overcome the appearance of self righteousness, it often helps to put the responsibility of answering questions about veganism back on the people who are asking the questions and then gently guiding them the obvious conclusions.