Can You Date Omnivores?
Print This Post
“Could you live with and have a relationship with some one who is non-vegan?”
asks xen ix at Info Ninja. He gives an example of how that might happen:
“You suddenly wake up one day and decide to learn about veganism and find it not only interesting, but also logical. Of course, you’re not so sure your loved one will want to or even accept your choice or even want to to become vegan.”
And then asks a few personal questions:
“So as a vegan, would you be able to live with someone that is not vegan, or even start a relationship with someone who is not vegan?
Would you be able to kiss someone who eats meat?
How would you feel if they used products made from animals and even tested on animals?
Would you be able to make food in a kitchen were meat and other animal food products are prepared?“What if your loved one gave you a hard time because of your choice, which is very personal, would you still stay with that person?
Would you try to convert your loved one, in a respectable manner, to become vegan?”
How would you answer those questions?
no i cant date meat eaters
Me neither. I only want to date people who share my lifestyle. It’s too difficult to date omnivores.
NEVER. I suppose it would be possible to have a crush on a meat eater, but I’m a vegansexual at heart and could only ever be with a commited vegan. If someone is so disconnected when it comes to living animals and what they put in their mouths, I just can’t see how any of their ethics, values and politics are going to mingle well with mine. I think veganism says much more about who we are than just that we eat a plant-based diet. It shows that you are the kind of person who chooses to be informed, who acts on that information, who is inclined to be compassionate and not lazy or ignorant, that you are a little rebellious or at least that you are a thinker. There are many reasons why people get hung up on meat, but in my experience they almost always tell me something deeper that shows me I don’t want to be involved with that person in a close, serious relationship. Of course, I am referring to real vegans – who are committed for all the reasons. Not someone who eats vegan to stay slim but wears leather and sleeps on a down pillow. The real deal is what it takes for me.
Wow, jenn*, that’s so true.
Thanks for commenting
I have dated omnivores but I don’t think I could marry one. I don’t want dead flesh in my home.
I have, in fact. And just by being with me my omnivore smoking lover gave up eating meat while he was with me (I didn’t ask him to). He later reverted, even proudly, as if he had to prove something to me, after we’d been apart a few years.
I can’t say I would never date an omnivore again. I believe that our lives are so different that it’s possible I could love someone who had not had that epiphany yet. The older I get the less likely this is, of course.
I think not wanting to date an omnivore is missing out on the opportunity to directly impact on someone’s life in a very powerful and meaningful way. My vegan boyfriend didn’t count me out just because I ate meat. His love and acceptance of me only opened up my heart and mind to so many things I didn’t know before I had him in my life. Now I am a vegetarian and transitioning into veganism. I don’t think that would have happened without him.
If veganism is truly a form of activism on behalf of animals, cloistering one’s self from others who are just living out the way the majority is (and perhaps the way you used to be, if you’ve ever eaten meat), I think, incredibly short-sighted. It’s also just not practical in a numbers game way.
Of course, choosing not to be with someone who is close-minded, fearful, and intolerant is understandable. But rejecting a loving, open person who happens to be an omnivore and would be open to learn from you (and who will teach you things as well) is a missed opportunity to possibly change a life.
I agree with Joselle. As a single vegan, this is something I’ve thought about a lot. Vegans only make up maybe 2% of the population (if we’re being generous) and vegetarians something like 10-12%. It’s hard enough as it is to find someone you connect with and can fall in love with without adding that limitation to the mix. I am currently in a relationship with an omnivore, but one who is open to listening to why I am vegan, and enjoys cooking vegan meals with me, and who orders vegan when we’re at restaurants about 70% of the time. He is respectful and caring and an incredibly wonderful person, and he accepts me as I am. Part of being in a loving relationship is accepting each other, and that’s what I strive to do with him as well. I think if we block ourselves off from omnivores we’re letting go of an opportunity to impact their lives, and potentially foregoing an opportunity to find love.
~ Recent blog post: Ridiculous Questions About Veganism at http://creaturetalk.wordpress.com ~
i am a vegan. all of my boyfriends have been omni, i kissed them as often as i could. if they ate meat, all i ask is that they have something to drink beforehand. i have never gotten meat in my mouth.. and rarely taste, let alone smell, the meat on their breath. (which is odd.. because i swear i can smell every bbq within a mile of my house.)
imo, refusing to be with someone because of their diet is silly. love is blind to food choices, stop being ignorant.
I’m dating an omni right now. I’d rather be with vegans or vegetarians for all the reasons jenn* mentions. Veganism says a lot about a person, their values, worldview, and ethics. I do not think I could be with an omnivore longterm because our values would be so different.
Love may be blind to food choices [as lalalaveggie says], but veganism is more than just a food choice: it’s a value system too.